Feb 28 Entry

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED VIA TINYLETTER ON DATE STAMPED

I need to start taking better care of myself.

  • Cut out junk food
  • Exercise at least thrice a week
  • Get better intimates
  • Spend less time on mindless consumption (Netflix: YouTube)
  • Spend less time on social media
  • Write more
  • Read a book before sleeping
  • Use planner and track finances on time, so shit does not pile up and I won’t get crippled for days on end from doing anything, overwhelmed

I am fully aware I have been avoiding leaving myself with my own thoughts. So I watch Netflix or Youtube or doomscroll on IG and FB to preoccupy my brain. It’s not that I can’t face my thoughts. It’s that I can’t face all of them all at once. There’s too many cluttered thoughts.

It’s not even enough to do one thing, say read a book or take a shower, because then my brain will keep up and be too loud. So I overstimulate myself even more on purpose. I get overwhelmed and then I get unmotivated. I was supposed to get back on track with everything else during our stay in Acuaverde, but while it was a good thing for the dogs to come, it wasn’t for me.

Something to try: talk out loud so my brain doesn’t have to do all the talking

Or maybe talk to a psychiatrist again just so I can get ADHD prescription meds. I’ve been hearing a LOT about Adderall lately, mostly on TV series since that’s all I’ve been doing outside work and caring for my dogs. Is ADHD that common, or am I only paying attention now?

I wish I don’t have to talk to someone to get medicated. Online appointments are so stressful and I don’t want to go to the hospital for things that aren’t life or death.

Anyway it’s 2am on a Sunday and I am restless. I will need to wake up at 7:30 in the morning to take Company out for her first potty, so she doesn’t have any chance to have accidents inside my room. March 1. Another do over. Ok, let’s do this again.

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