2019 Taught Me

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED VIA TINYLETTER ON DATE STAMPED

I used to write listicles about the year that was. It’s a good practice: to review your year as if it was one whole book, work backwards, and take the key takeaways. But years have become succeeding universes with infinite emotions and moments and revolutions. It’s become hard to sit down and self-actualize. The energy, the time, the emotions it warrants when I’d rather rub my dog’s belly.

But the process is so integral to myself that sometimes, I can’t help it. So here’s one of the many things I learned the hard way in 2019:

Never trust anyone who are without any core group of friends. I should take a hint from the trend of their relationships, or lack thereof. Even the most introverted person, if not problematic, has at least 2 solid people in her life. To be a good friend, yes, I should never fail to give the benefit of the doubt when things aren’t adding up. But I am a cynic after all. I weather through life by trusting my gut instinct which, 97% of the time, would end up being right. To go against it would be extinction. I will be lied to and made fool of by people I have learned to trust, no matter how hard I have taught myself to, and while it isn’t necessarily my fault, I take partial accountability. Because I know I know better. I can’t make excuses for people in order to keep them.

P.S. If you’ll lie to me, make sure I don’t catch you. It’s scary how little I need to put two and two together.

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